UC Personal Statement Version 2.5 (3rd Draft)

Ok, I know I just posted the 2nd Draft, but it was way too long(1,150 words). The more I thought about it, 150 words over the limit was way too much. I shortened it up. This new version is about 1,050 words. Still over, but it should be fine, and its definitely better than 1,150. Also more grammar and spelling mistakes fixed. HERE WE GO!!! UC PERSONAL STATEMENT....2.5? haha Once again feel free to comment.

Version Updates

• 2.0- Improved wording and grammar mistakes. Took out parts about grandma, added more about me.
• 2.5- Same as Version 2.0, but shortened

Prompt #1

I always felt like I had a fine grasp on who I am. My family constantly attempted to treat me like an adult. My dad brought me to along when he would go with his friends, who are all college graduates. Just listening to the discussions really helped me build the manner in which I carry myself today. My mom was still a typical mom; spoiling me, hugging me, kissing me, but she at all times made sure I knew the rules and most of the time I followed them. My grandparents lived right down the street so I saw them everyday, and they were the same way. My entire family tried to treat me like an adult, within reason of course. Despite growing up with all this around me, I still had a lot of difficulty deciding what career I wanted to pursue. And sure everyone says that, but I don’t mean you wanted to be a firefighter when you were 5 and now you want to be a lawyer. I mean that I honestly had on clue until my sophomore year of high school.

One of my huge interests was, and to an extend still is, technology, so for a while I was considering a career in computers. Although, I enjoy meeting and working with people, which I felt a job in computers wouldn’t permit me to do. I also love to help people and the community; that’s what made me join and become an officer for Key Club once I got to high school. I needed a job where I could interact and talk to people. That’s how I eventually got to the idea of the medical field.

Prompt #2

Going into the medical profession was not my first intention. Up until I was about 12, there were few deaths in my family, but everyone was getting older, and they started to pass away. Over the past 3-4 years, I’ve attended about 8 funerals for my family. It was a shock to me; it helped me accept death. It made me realize how life can suddenly end and how much of an impact one person’s life can have.

The biggest loss for me was the death of my grandmother. Earlier that year, my grandfather was in the hospital, and eventually moved to a rehabilitation center. Due to this, I had to take care of my grandmother. Although it was difficult at times, it felt rewarding being able to help her, after she helped me become the person I am today. It never felt like a chore or tedious task, but more of an enjoyable responsibility. My grandmother was then admitted into the hospital, and eventually moved into the same rehabilitation center as my grandfather. I saw as the center was understaffed and overworked. I spent a lot of time at the center and I often talked to the various doctors and nurses; I saw the difficultly in their job and watched as they took all the punches and went on with their work. I finally started to ask why they wanted to be in the medical field, and they all responded the same way. The ideal of changing lives came up time and time again. The more I thought of this principle, the more I realized how well it fits with who I am and what I want to accomplish in life. Within weeks, my grandmother went back into the hospital in severe condition. When I went to see her in the ICU at the hospital, she couldn’t talk or move; she wasn’t alert. Our family decided to just make her comfortable and let her pass away. When I went to say good-bye, I couldn’t handle it. I broke down and cried. She didn’t pass away for about a week after we took all the machines off. My relatives that went to see her said that she wanted to see me, but I never went back to the hospital; I couldn’t handle it.

Once she was gone, and the funeral was done, I had a lot of guilt in not going to see her. That summer, a friend and I decided to volunteer at a hospital. We ended up at the same hospital where my grandmother passed away. For a while, I never wanted to go up to the ICU; it brought back the guilt that I felt. Then I realized this is a great opportunity to face my regret. I asked to be stationed in the ICU. It was hard at first; a lot of memories came up every time I was in there. Eventually, I started to enjoy thinking about my grandmother, and I felt that I could make up for not being strong enough for my grandmother, by giving strength to these people who need it the most. I enjoyed giving my all to help save lives, and it made me realize that I had a passion for the medical field. It’s a passion that has pushed me to keep volunteering in various hospitals, to do an internship and work at Kaiser Permanente, and to compete and excel at both State and National Conferences for H.O.S.A. (Health Occupations Students of America). The internship and the trips of H.O.S.A gave me so many great memories that I’m never going to forget and gave me so much experience, not for medicine but anything in my life. It’s a cliché statement I know, but true.

It’s funny how something so negative and devastating can help focus things. The medical field was an option, but it was always towards the back of my mind, never something I considered. I feel that the medical field provides me with the most direct way to help people and the community. Sure I could plant a tree or clean a park, that would help people, but if I can save lives, then those people can go plant a tree or clean a park. After being around so many medical facilities; meeting doctors, nurses, patients, families, etc.; and after seeing so much pain and suffering, it makes me want to learn as much as I can and work to the best of my ability to go into the medical field as prepared as possible, so I can make a difference and help better lives.